The Power of Silence
Silence is a multifaceted concept that holds various meanings and implications depending on the context and individual experiences.
Firstly, silence can be therapeutic and healing. In moments of quietness, we can find solace and peace, allowing our minds to rest and rejuvenate. It offers a break, providing an opportunity for self-reflection.
On the other hand, silence can also be unsettling and uncomfortable. In some situations, silence may signify tension or indifference. It can evoke feelings of loneliness or isolation, especially when experienced for prolonged periods.
Sometimes, silence speaks volumes, communicating emotions, intentions, or agreement without the need for words. It can serve as a form of nonverbal communication, expressing empathy, understanding, or disagreement.
Additionally, silence can have cultural and social connotations. In certain cultures, silence may be valued as a sign of respect or wisdom, while in others, it may be interpreted as a lack of engagement or indifference.
In summary, silence plays a crucial role in shaping our interactions and perceptions of the world around us. It can heal. It can hurt. It can send messages or not. It’s scary. It’s comforting.
This article from FT discusses how the former queen of England’s popularity was influenced by the power of her silence.
Journalist Simon Heffer attributed the former Queen of England’s popularity as a monarch, in large part, to her silence. She made few public pronouncements, and her political views remained almost private.
Any speech writer, any actor and any CEO who has done media training, will know the importance of the pause in one-way communication. It signals confidence and command in a speaker. It is analogous, in some ways, to the way white space is used in ordinary type and in graphic design: it lets language breathe.
To Margaret Thatcher’s husband, Denis, is attributed one of the great bons mots on this subject: “Better keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt.”
I read about the book The Sphere of Silence from Vijay Eswaran – a successful Malaysian entrepreneur. He offers a guide on spending an hour daily in silence, drawing from his childhood experiences with his grandfather.
When I was a child, my grandfather lived with me and my family. Every morning he would wake up at the crack of dawn and sit in complete silence for an hour. Even as the rest of the household stirred awake and the various morning rituals unfolded around him, he stayed still and quiet. Nothing could detract him during that time. He believed that abstaining from speaking for a set period each day brought him inner peace and made him a better listener.
Every day, I make a big effort to spend an hour just watching and listening to what’s happening around me after I wake up. The funniest part is when I have to mimic to communicate.
Babi
Dear don’ts of the ordinary world
You tell me:
- Don’t dance in the tube
- Don’t talk with strangers
- Don’t smile at strangers
- Don’t use funny clothes
- Don’t take too many days off
- Don’t proclaim the world as wild and free
- Don’t say things are not ok
- Don’t paint on walls
- Don’t laugh too much
- Don’t cry too much
- Don’t forget your past
- Don’t wait too much
- Don’t rush into things
- Don’t believe people
- Don’t dance like no one is watching
- Don’t be an open book
- Don’t scream
- Don’t lose your temper
- Don’t lose sight of who you are
- Don’t eat ice cream
- Don’t be a dreamer
- Don’t lose yourself
- Don’t fight for this
- Don’t quit
- Don’t procrastinate
- Don’t be silly
- Don’t be afraid
You’ve advised me with a list of “don’ts,” but you also say not to be afraid. How can I navigate through these restrictions without feeling overwhelmed or fearful? Remember, patience is crucial; don’t push your don’ts too hard over me. Fear might hinder my ability to approach my goals.
This article from HBR about the decision of playing it safe is the riskiest strategic choice, says.
If we’re going to close the gap between the mostly incremental trajectory so many of us find ourselves on and avoid falling into the trap of the timid transformation, we must fundamentally rethink our relationship to risk. We must come to see, to quantify more fully, and to acknowledge the potentially enormous cost of our inaction. We must understand the roots of the fear that keeps us stuck. We must embrace the beauty of imperfection and accept, as Seth Godin reminds us, “that if failure is not an option, then neither is success.”
When we accept that safe is often the riskiest strategy of all, we see that in the face of accelerating disruption often the only choice that has any chance of success is to aim far higher in the value we deliver to customers, to move much faster, and to act boldly.”
If the world has changed so much, why have you changed so little?” Their answers are often complicated, but much of it has to do with a reluctance to confront our fears and fully appreciate the growing risks from our unwillingness to take bold action.
Dear trickster in me…
A hacker on my own system.
A mirror to my soul’s complexity.
With cunning smile and eyes aglow, you dance freely, a relentless flow.
Are you a she or a he? Good or bad?
I admire your cleverness, wit, and ability to think outside the box. For me, it is a symbol of creativity, adaptability, and resourcefulness.
Your laughter echoes a playful melody. You bend the rules, defy the norm. A rebel spirit, wild and warm.
Through twists and turns, you find your way. Crafting chaos into a grand display. But beneath the joke, a wisdom gleams. In secret dreams, you unravel mysteries.
You understand the truth behind the jokes. Sometimes, silliness unveils what’s best. So, I allow you to to wander in your playful steps.
The trickster in me is both wild and free.
You add humor and levity to my story, a comic relief. You make me reconsider my goals and motivations in twisted way.
You bring me disruption and change in homeopathic doses.
I don’t know what are your true intentions. But without you, I couldn’t hack my own system. Thank you!
Babi
Dear door 3827,
What shall I do?
Enter your realm or say adieu?
Should I knock or just retreat?
As you creak open, doubts repeat.
Are you beckoning, am I unprepared?
Is this path meant for me, or should I be scared?
You reveal a glimpse of whats in store,
But uncertainty leaves me unsure.
Should I bring you flowers? Do you have tropical weather? Or heavy winter?
We dance a duet, you and I,
but what melody plays in your side?
Heavy metal or Bossa Nova?
Or perhaps silence in that space?
Beautiful door, silent and still.
I will return tomorrow, if time will.
As I return, you widen, but upside down.
A puzzling sight, leaving me frown.
What message hides in this curious scene?
If I make it it to tomorrow, maybe clarity will come my way.
Babi
xxx
In regards to decision making, this article from FT talks about the The Chimp Model, a psychological framework developed by psychiatrist Dr. Steve Peters.
It’s a simplified way of understanding the brain’s structure and how it influences behavior and decision-making.
According to the Chimp Model, the brain can be divided into three main parts:
- The Human Brain: This part represents the rational, logical, and analytical aspects of our thinking. It’s responsible for making decisions based on facts and evidence.
- The Chimp Brain: The “Chimp” represents the emotional and instinctive part of our brain. It operates on feelings, emotions, and impulses. The Chimp is quick to react and can often override the Human Brain’s rationality.
- The Computer Brain: This part of the brain stores beliefs, values, and automatic behaviors. It’s like a database that influences how we interpret and respond to situations.
The Chimp Model suggests that conflicts and irrational behaviors often arise when the Chimp Brain and the Human Brain are in conflict. Learning to manage the Chimp by understanding its triggers and employing techniques like mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy can lead to better decision-making and emotional regulation.
Overall, the Chimp Model provides a simple yet powerful framework for understanding and managing the complex interplay between emotions, instincts, and rational thinking in our daily lives.
Dear Responsibility,
I need a break.
You’ve been my guide through various avenues: life’s lessons, mentors, books, philosophers…
Remembering my learning journey, some sentences come to mind:
“The system is responsible in proportion to the degree that the people who make the decisions bear the consequences” – Charlie Frankel.
“Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount” – Clare Boothe.
“If your ship doesn’t come, swim out to meet it” – Jonathan Winters
I deeply appreciate all the lessons you’ve provided. I’ve been, and continue to be, a highly committed student.
But lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the weight of responsibility that I’ve been carrying. While I understand the importance of fulfilling my duties and obligations, I’ve reached a point where I feel the need to take a break from you.
It’s not easy for me to ask you for this break. I have thought long and hard about it, and I believe that taking a temporary break will allow me to recharge, regain perspective, and come back with renewed energy and commitment.
During this break, I am fully committed to ensuring a smooth transition and minimizing any disruption that my absence may cause.
I believe this break will benefit not only myself but also the quality of relationship with loved ones in the long run.
Babi
xxxx
A question that I started asking myself lately. Am I too responsible?
This article from HBR talks about over-responsibility.
Over-responsibility can be a hard habit to break. Helping others makes us feel good: We feel competent, reduce our stress, and avoid conflict. This habit also gets reinforced by those around you, who learn to depend on you. But don’t wait until you feel burned out and resentful.
The author, Dina Denham Smith, an executive coach to senior leaders at world-leading brands such as Adobe, Netflix, PwC, Dropbox, Stripe, suggests the following strategies to find a more appropriate balance of responsibility:
- Examine your assumptions
- Give responsibilities back
- Define what you’re truly responsible for
- Accept help, Empathise — without taking on others’ distress
- Be-self compassionate
Dear Ping Pong Ball,
Here I am, holding you in my hands, ready for a day of play. I’ve practiced a lot, putting all my strong and bad feelings into my strategy. I thought my rage would make me focused and unbeatable.
But as the game begins, things don’t go as planned. I lose control. I’m falling apart in front of you, can’t you see?
As the game progresses, my rage fades away, and you become as light as a feather. I let go of my detailed plans and start playing from the heart, although I’m not sure what strategy that is exactly.
The match becomes lighter and more intriguing for me. You see, my usual practice partner is a wall, but now I’m facing another heart across the table, with different strategies, moves, and feelings. The result of this match feels like a combination of variables in a complex equation.
In a moment of clarity, I whisper to my opponent, “Thank you for playing with me and making me think again. I hope we both win.”
Babi
xxx
Adaptability, emotional intelligence, agile strategy, and collaboration are crucial for swiftly altering the course of a strategy.
The capacity to modify one’s strategy and mindset in reaction to shifting circumstances is fundamental to successful personal growth, leadership and performance.
Managing emotions, staying focused under pressure are essential skills applicable in personal, sports, and business contexts alike.
Just like in a game of ping pong, business and personal strategies frequently require real-time evolution and adaptation.
Acknowledging the role of stakeholders in shaping experiences indicates flexibility through simple signs of communication.
This article from Fast Company talks about how emotional communication usually works.
The 55-38-7 rule by psychologist Albert Mehrabian states that in emotional communication, 55% is expressed through body language, 38% through tone, and just 7% through words. This highlights the importance of aligning nonverbal cues with verbal communication for clarity and impact and applies specifically to situations where emotions or attitudes are communicated.
Dear Creativity,
Please have the courage and tranquility to care about my freedom.
Revisit your origins. Tell me what you’re really like.
Design your life and craft your soul. Be curious. Fill your canvas. Draw something that would make your 8 year-old self proud. Put your pencil down, draw a line and go.
What skills would you like to learn? What are your hobbies? What’s your favourite scent?
Don’t cry, don’t cry, do cry! Live the life you want to live. But don’t be a jerk. Use your imagination.
Challenge norms. Keep experimenting.
Go on holidays. Take a random Wednesday off. Don’t overthink,
Break the mould. Make what you wish, exist. Start over when needed.
Stay humble, always.
Dream, explore, question, breathe, imagine, write, draw, paint, make it fun and weird.
Flip your perspective, collect memories, smell nature, feel, love, grow!
Learn who you are, who you want to be, why and how. One day at a time 🙂
Que o vento leve, o que não for leve!
With love,
from your best friend!
A poem about the evolving me
My curiosity, ambition and ability to be water led me here – To unexpected places, to scenes that go beyond my wildest imagination. And I’m grateful for this.
But a big knock said “It is time to solidify your soul and use your superpower of being water only from time to time.”
I agreed. Thinking what’s the point of being Superman, if he cannot be Clark Kent?
Being true to myself is a path to success.
So I wrote to my older version “If we were to meet in a sentence in time, it would be: 2 souls who seek control over everything, you have your story and I have mine.”
On my journey, I met a friend called vulnerability. In the beginning i had no hope about us becoming close. But all the new places that I was hanging out, she was also there. So I said to myself: if she likes the same things as me, maybe I could make an effort for our relationship to evolve.
Over time, she introduced me to unique experiences I strangely enjoyed. She taught me that my need for control and managing the unmanageable was the craziest thing I ever attempted.
Her favorite saying is: Whatever you try not to feel, you have to feel at some point. Be brave, you won’t regret it! Those who don’t go through the hell of their feelings, don’t overcome them.”
The path I’ve chosen has left my controlling tendencies behind. Sometimes, I look back and miss those simpler times. I would like to give her the pin I bought in Camden Town saying I want to KI _ _ you.
In case we meet again I would like to ask her. Can you describe a life without feelings? Because I certainly can’t.
Babi
The creative process
This is shit.
This is awesome.
This is tricky.
This is ok.
This is awesome.
This is terrible.
This might work.
This is great.
What are the next milestones?
The protagonist
Set your goals and become the protagonist of your own narrative.
To shape your life story according to your desires, take the reins and steer it in the direction you want.
Two renowned theatrical productions, “Punchdrunk” and “Sleep no More,” captivate audiences by immersing them in the action. Instead of passively sitting in their seats, viewers actively follow the unfolding scenes across various locations.
Only by closely tracking the protagonists can they truly optimize their experience, although even a partial engagement still provides enjoyment.
This parallel can be drawn to our own lives. At times, we find ourselves stuck in moments or situations that don’t align with the life we truly desire. Whether it’s remaining in toxic relationships or engaging in pointless arguments, there are instances where we need to deviate from these paths and seek an alternative route.
In a similar vein, this article delves into the art of screenwriting, exploring the stories found in books and movies. At their core, these narratives revolve around a central character striving to achieve a particular goal.
“It’s a personal growth trajectory. Facing obstacles, making friends, colliding with enemies and learning on the way. The protagonist attains the goal by overcoming its flaws and changing on the way.”
“Stories are our way of making sense of life and drawing deeper meaning from it. We use movies and books to understand our lives, as well as our own reflections. We are all storytellers. Intentionally or non-intentionally we always create stories because without them our lives seem random and meaningless. It’s important how we shape our narratives and where we place ourselves in them.”
Nihan kucukural
In life, you are in charge of your own destiny. You are the main character, not a helpless victim. You have the power to make choices, take action, and determine your own well-being. Your decisions, both good and bad, shape the course of your story. You don’t just react to things that happen to you; you actively create your own path.
When facing uncertain situations or contemplating leaving a specific circumstance, it’s normal to feel lost or insecure. It’s important to pay attention to the details but not get too caught up in them. The past may hold valuable clues that can guide you towards the best path for your journey.
Imagine your life as a blank page waiting to be written. You have the opportunity to craft your own story.
And if you find that you’re not satisfied with the current plot-line, remember that you can always rewrite it 🙂